Simple question right? People say it in passing every day and respond positively – Oh – I’m fine. Rarely are we going to share when we are’t feeling fine. Why not? Are we afraid that we aren’t living up to society expectations? Is it easier to suppress our own misgivings to spare the asker an award exchange? We do it even with those close to us. To my son – how are you this morning? I expect to hear “fine” and honestly I’m a little bit happier when he counters with “a bit tired but ok.” That is much more than “fine” and it’s fine with me.
Why is it so hard to be honest with ourselves to dig a bit deeper into something that isn’t quite positive? How are you today? A bit overwhelmed but hoping I can get through my to do list. Not the glossed over “fine” but an actual insight into what I’m feeling today. Learning to share what we need and communicate it clearly is valuable. I’ve not been so great at that but want to get better. Improve. Even if when I ask, How are you today, and get a response that causes me to stop and think a bit deeper.
Communicating feelings honestly when asked “how are you today” is a step. But, then, I have to take action on how I’m feeling. If today it’s overwhelmed, then rather dwell on it, I’ll take action on how to work on making that negative feeling go away. So when the answer to the question really is “fine” I’ll actually mean it.
